wanna go halves on a baby?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
