is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
