can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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