My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
