i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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