part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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