Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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