Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
