Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
