Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
