My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
