and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
