hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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