it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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