i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
