dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
