So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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