did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
