a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
