my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
