I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
