what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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