ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Little spoons don't ask big questions
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
