google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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