Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i came on her dog
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
