You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
