and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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