yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
