I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
