Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just pee around me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. Itβs Christmas...and this is why Iβm single.
They are good meatballs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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