Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
