I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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