i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
