Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize