i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
two words...techno handjob
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize