Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
