If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
