Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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