1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
