Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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