What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
