His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
