yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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