dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
