he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
