I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dick very happy bro
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
