____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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