Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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