Me. At least after what I've been through.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
