They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
