You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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