fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
