I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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