me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
