All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
