I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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