Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
