Got a toothbrush?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize