my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
