Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Come on in and take your pants off
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