Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
two words...techno handjob
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
